How do you bounce back from a crappy year? Even if your year was a good one, how can you make it better? How do you bounce back from harsh realities, disappointments, setbacks, and emotional turmoil? We all have themes in life or patterns in life that keep reoccurring like it’s groundhog day. Over the year, it’s been a very turbulent year, and also a year of growth I suppose.
Through this wild year of growth, here’s what I’ve learnt so far.
Social Media vs Reality
Understand that Social Media isn’t reality – most people only post the ‘good things’, however, there are moments when people post the raw and uncut, but again it’s rare. No one knows what goes on closed doors, only that person knows, and that person alone.
Whilst Social Media can be a platform for connecting with others and sharing work, it’s also important to stay in the present moment. I may be a little hypocritical for saying this, as I am on my phone 24/7, well most of the day. Something I do bring myself into the ‘here and now’ is noticing 5 things in a room that I can see. This brings me back to the room mentally and gets me aware of the space around me.
Support others but don’t forget to support yourself
Still, support others, but don’t forget to focus on you. I tend to have this habit of supporting others till I begin to neglect my own projects that are still on the rise. I’ll admit I struggle with self-promotion, but I find it easy to promote the hell out of other people’s project, heck I’m that good at pushing other people’s projects that I could be a PR agency.
I’m not always a fan of the spotlight, and when attention is placed on me I can get quite self-conscious and uncomfortable, despite being a performer. In other words, I tend to imagine the worst, and my inner-critic gets a kick out of it.
So I’m currently focusing on self-acceptance, which hasn’t been an easy ride, and learning that my contributions in life are valid and worthy. You should be your biggest supporter, and this isn’t always easy to do because we all want social approval consciously or unconsciously.
Our inner critics can also get the best of us at times – especially when the mean and negative thoughts about yourself or the work you produce crock up. When you support a friend, you normally shower them with positive compliments, as well as constructive criticism (if necessary), take a minute to think about whether you do this for yourself.
Lick your wounds, and lick them well
‘Healing’. – Sometimes this process can be a hard and challenging one. It’s not easy to confront wounds that haven’t quite healed. A wound can even be re-opened and it can sincerely have you questioning yourself.
I’ve always believed that issues formed in childhood can follow us around as adults if we don’t confront them.
Healing these wounds by yourself is do-able but at times it’s best to have a professional help you. Gaining insight into your behaviour, thoughts, and feelings will help you in your career, relationships, and so on. Better yet, keep a journal, where you can just pour out your feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
My journal has most definitely served me well, it’s given me a solid foundation of my personality and moods from a day to day perspective. A result, I can identify where I need to change my thinking pattern, and where I need to take charge in my life.
Find your meaning of ‘Success’
Everyone’s versions of ‘success’ will be different to yours – better yet, everyone’s idea of success is completely different to your own.
discuss the relative importance of positive psychology interventions and working with character strengths in the treatment of addictive behaviours
For some, success is owning lavish cars and houses, going on exquisite holidays and trips. On the other hand, for others, it could be something simple as getting out of their bed or launching a small business.
Everybody’s journey towards success will be different to yours, there’s no single destinations, but rather a series of stops where you may encounter accomplishments, challenges, obstacles, and growth within yourself. It’s very tempting to compare yourself to others, however comparing yourself to others brings nothing but anxiety. But there is a good reason to why we do it: Read – Why we Love to compare ourselves to others.