Loss: Not everyone you lose is a loss

 

Loss – ‘the fact or process of losing something or someone’.

 Throughout our lives, we will experience a loss of something or someone. Letting go of people, in general, is a difficult life hack to master, we hold on to things and people even when they have served their purpose.

Every friendship and relationship that occurs in our life, is a learning curve. That doesn’t mean to say that loss isn’t a painful thing. A loss brings about painful feelings that we endure over time, but as time goes on, the pain lessens and we begin to realise that we don’t need that person anymore.

Good things end so great things can happen’. – Nicole Cottrell

A loss may bring about sadness, heartache, and regret, but each loss that we experience helps us to become stronger. Things may get better or they may not, and if they don’t get better than it’s okay.

I stayed with someone once and settled despite my gut telling me that I was settling and that there was someone much better suited for me. I tolerated bad behaviour out of fear of losing him.

When we departed ways, it hurt like hell because we went from speaking every day to zero contact. But it also felt great, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I could breathe again.

Our bodies know best (hence why I’m training to be a dance movement psychotherapist), our bodies pick up vibrations. So when something or someone isn’t right and your gut tells you so – listen to it. Trust yourself.

Accepting that not everyone who enters our lives is meant to stay has been a difficult thing for me, but I’ve come to realise that as humans we are designed to grow. Therefore there is no place in our lives for people who hurt us and hold us back and don’t have the same capacity as us.

We don’t have to put up with toxic people, sure it’s sometimes hard to let them go, but it becomes even harder and painful when we hold onto them.

I had to slowly come to an understanding that I deserved better and that losing this individual wasn’t a bad thing. It was the universe’s way of preparing me to receive something greater in my life.

I had to learn to put myself first this time.

‘Broken moments don’t define us. It’s how we deal with them that does’. – Nicole Cottrell 

 

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